Long time, no blog
I haven't written a blog in about a week or so. The charges have been dismissed for Matt. Now I'm living 80% of my week in Beverly and 20% in Boston. I don't see anyone while I'm home cause everyone is at work. I keep busy though. I went to get my food stamps card today. Tomororw I'll get groceries. Since I'm living with Mom and Matt again, they want me to learn how to budget what money I have so I can live indpendently in the not too distant future.
They'll make space for me in the fridges and the pantry for my food. One thing I learned while I was with Caleb was how to make a menu for the week, write out what I'll make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and snacks, and stick to it. Write down what I'll need for food, and stick to that list.
I did the menu thing with Caleb for a few weeks until he didn't want to eat at home and talked me into getting food at the mall and McDonald's dollar menu.
I've seen John recently. After started staying in Boston, I was very lonely and depressed over losing Caleb and all. I agreed to meet John at Starbucks, but it took us three times to meet. I was busy he was busy. Finally, one Sunday afternoon, we hung out. He listened to me talk about my feelings and all. When we were talking outside at the reflection pool, it felt to me like I didn't know John at all. Like I was talking with a guy I've never met before. I leanred that John isn't the same guy he was when we were trying to date as a couple.
I've Facebooked John, we talk online often and sometimes over the phone. He has a job now and is thinking about moving out of his mom's house when he can afford it which might be soon. We won't move in together. John is also into being pure in his friendships. He told me that not only won't he fool around with girls until he gets married, he won't even kiss anyone! I thought that was kind of extreme but it's true. John didn't kiss me or try to kiss me a few weeks ago when we hung out.
I was surprised. Usually, he would be making out with me five minutes after seeing me. He tells me to seek God and stuff before I find love again..... like having a close realtionship with Jesus. Oh, yeah like I could be happy by finding love and comfort in Jesus who I can't see or hear or talk to like a person.
I looked at pics of Halloween in Salem. Looks like a good time. Sorry I wasn't there. I spent Halloween in the traffic of people who were gonna have fun. I went to dinner with Mom and Christina at the Anchor then fell asleep in front of Letterman. But, really, I'm glad all those couples decked out in Halloween costumes got to have a blast. I really am.
I'll be home for the next 2 1/2 days. Kellie might, might have time to see me one of those nights... we'll see. I wish I had internet access at my computer at home. Matt downgraded to DSL, I don't have a phone jack installed in my room. I'll have to wait until the electrician comes over which will be weeks after Matt calls. I guess I can get a good book to read. I'm debating on whether or not to commute to town tomorrow night to go to Cafe. Nobody really talks to me there, so why bother. I don't like small talk while everyone talks about going to parties and all. I'd see Josh but just chatting... that's why I'm glad I'm still friends with John. He talks to me cause he knows how it feels to be alone. It sucks.
I have to make dinner for Mom and I clean up, then watch Dancing with the Stars at 8 the SNL special at 9. I'll watch the local news, Sex in the City, get off, then go to bed. That's usually my nights. Who needs a guy when I say can say hello to Miss Hand ? It's not ideal but it does work for the time being...
I don't agree with some of the morals most Christians have. One thing I don't fully agree on is sex before marriage... I've done it with two guys so far. One I wasn't married to, and the other, well, we got married so we could do it- not that it was any good. More on that subject if I meet with girlfriends one of these days, weeks, or months.
These days the Internet is my best freind. It's always there when I need it and most nights there is someone to talk to- not on gmail- on Facebook. I have more friends on Facebook anyway. Usually, I talk to John. Some people on Facebook don't talk to me when I've instant messaged them. I've learned not to instant message people who don't reply. Send one IM, and no reply? Why bother... I contact those friends on their Facebook page.
They'll make space for me in the fridges and the pantry for my food. One thing I learned while I was with Caleb was how to make a menu for the week, write out what I'll make for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, and snacks, and stick to it. Write down what I'll need for food, and stick to that list.
I did the menu thing with Caleb for a few weeks until he didn't want to eat at home and talked me into getting food at the mall and McDonald's dollar menu.
I've seen John recently. After started staying in Boston, I was very lonely and depressed over losing Caleb and all. I agreed to meet John at Starbucks, but it took us three times to meet. I was busy he was busy. Finally, one Sunday afternoon, we hung out. He listened to me talk about my feelings and all. When we were talking outside at the reflection pool, it felt to me like I didn't know John at all. Like I was talking with a guy I've never met before. I leanred that John isn't the same guy he was when we were trying to date as a couple.
I've Facebooked John, we talk online often and sometimes over the phone. He has a job now and is thinking about moving out of his mom's house when he can afford it which might be soon. We won't move in together. John is also into being pure in his friendships. He told me that not only won't he fool around with girls until he gets married, he won't even kiss anyone! I thought that was kind of extreme but it's true. John didn't kiss me or try to kiss me a few weeks ago when we hung out.
I was surprised. Usually, he would be making out with me five minutes after seeing me. He tells me to seek God and stuff before I find love again..... like having a close realtionship with Jesus. Oh, yeah like I could be happy by finding love and comfort in Jesus who I can't see or hear or talk to like a person.
I looked at pics of Halloween in Salem. Looks like a good time. Sorry I wasn't there. I spent Halloween in the traffic of people who were gonna have fun. I went to dinner with Mom and Christina at the Anchor then fell asleep in front of Letterman. But, really, I'm glad all those couples decked out in Halloween costumes got to have a blast. I really am.
I'll be home for the next 2 1/2 days. Kellie might, might have time to see me one of those nights... we'll see. I wish I had internet access at my computer at home. Matt downgraded to DSL, I don't have a phone jack installed in my room. I'll have to wait until the electrician comes over which will be weeks after Matt calls. I guess I can get a good book to read. I'm debating on whether or not to commute to town tomorrow night to go to Cafe. Nobody really talks to me there, so why bother. I don't like small talk while everyone talks about going to parties and all. I'd see Josh but just chatting... that's why I'm glad I'm still friends with John. He talks to me cause he knows how it feels to be alone. It sucks.
I have to make dinner for Mom and I clean up, then watch Dancing with the Stars at 8 the SNL special at 9. I'll watch the local news, Sex in the City, get off, then go to bed. That's usually my nights. Who needs a guy when I say can say hello to Miss Hand ? It's not ideal but it does work for the time being...
I don't agree with some of the morals most Christians have. One thing I don't fully agree on is sex before marriage... I've done it with two guys so far. One I wasn't married to, and the other, well, we got married so we could do it- not that it was any good. More on that subject if I meet with girlfriends one of these days, weeks, or months.
These days the Internet is my best freind. It's always there when I need it and most nights there is someone to talk to- not on gmail- on Facebook. I have more friends on Facebook anyway. Usually, I talk to John. Some people on Facebook don't talk to me when I've instant messaged them. I've learned not to instant message people who don't reply. Send one IM, and no reply? Why bother... I contact those friends on their Facebook page.
posted by Cafeveronagrrl80 @ 2:49 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home